The top ways Chelsea will spend their first annual profit under Roman Abramovich

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

With the help of the club's first Champions League title, Chelsea announced their first annual profit since Roman Abramovich bought the club in 2003. The £1.4 million profit might not sound like a colossal amount of money, but for a club that spends as much as Chelsea, and coming after a loss of £67.7 million in the previous year, it's quite an achievement. And just in time for UEFA's Financial Fair Play rules. But that loot is already burning a hole in the club's pocket. Here are the ways Chelsea plan on putting it to work...

-Paying Liverpool an additional £50 million for Euro 2012 Golden Boot winner Fernando Torres just to confuse everyone and give them another wad of cash to spend in entertaining and ill-advised ways.

-Building an £800 million stadium in Los Angeles to be used exclusively for the club's preseason friendlies every other year.

-Spending £23 million on a ski-weekend/reunion for all managers sacked by Roman Abramovich. Even Avram Grant will be invited.

-£675,000 worth of shrimp cocktail.

-Burning £1.8 million in a bonfire outside of Emirates Stadium just to give Arsene Wenger a panic attack.

-No less than £44 million to be spent on a collection of exotic helmets for Petr Cech.

-Putting £213 million towards an internal committee to find Financial Fair Play workarounds.

-Another £2.9 million worth of shrimp cocktail.

-An indeterminate amount for private investigators and legal advisors to keep an eye on John Terry.

-At least £72 million to commission a statue of Didier Drogba and his morbidly obese cat, Kitier Katba.

What to Read Next