A Jonjo divided against itself cannot stand. Swansea midfielder Jonjo Shelvey proved this when he faced former club Liverpool for the first time and ended up being the most important player for both sides, leaving him to feel devastated and apologetic.
The match started so perfectly for Shelvey that it could only be the setup for a cruel joke. Just two minutes in, he scored to put Swansea up 1-0 and stun undefeated Liverpool. His teammates lifted him up to celebrate as if he just won them the Champions League final. Unfortunately for Shelvey, the match would continue.
Less than two minutes later (a.k.a. still just the fourth minute of the match), Shelvey attempted a backpass that split Swansea's defenders and went right to Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge, who caught the goalkeeper in no man's land and to score an easy goal gifted to him by his former teammate. That made it 1-1 and took Shelvey from being joyously lifted up towards the heavens to covering his head in shame so fast that it could be the backstory for a comic book character who goes from being a professional footballers to Batman's arch-nemesis. And unfortunately for Shelvey, the match would continue.
About half an hour passed, allowing Jonjo to recompose himself, but then it happened again...and not the good "it." Shelvey passed it right to Victor Moses, who then went around him and scored on his Liverpool debut to put the visitors up 2-1 in the 36th minute. Both this and the assist on Sturridge's goal were better passes than just about anything he did while he actually played for Liverpool. Shelvey suddenly had trouble standing upright.
Sweet, merciful halftime came without further incident and despite Shelvey surrendering the lead he gave his team, Swansea manager Michael Laudrup decided to send him back out for the second half. And in the 56th minute, Shelvey was booked for his part in a scuffle with another former teammate, Lucas.
Surely Jonjo was in the midst of a downward spiral that would only end with Swansea's groundskeepers building a gutter on the pitch just for him to lay in. But to the 21-year-old's credit, he didn't give up and instead kept fight, kept trying to dig himself out of his rut. And in the 64th minute, it paid off when he dropped a perfectly placed header at Michu's feet for the equalizer.
The match went on to end 2-2 with Shelvey influencing all four goals. And though the last one was a positive for him, the two glaring errors weighed heavy on Jonjo, who looked like a kid who just broke the urn containing his grandfather's ashes in his post-match interview. He apologized to Swansea fans and said the experience wasn't something he'd wish on his worst enemy.
Here are several things that happened to Shelvey when he left the stadium:
-He discovered a cute puppy in his car that spontaneously combusted as soon as he named it.
-He bought his favorite ice cream to make himself feel better and after eating half of it, he realized there was a human hand in the container.
-He found £50 on the ground, but the homeless man he gave it to told him it was fake.
-He took a shortcut home that ended up taking the exact same amount of time as his normal route.
-He went to bed early just to end the day and immediately had a nightmare in which he relived the whole match from beginning to end. He then woke up to see that it was now the time he usually goes to sleep.