Lost in the madness of the World Cup draw outcome was the madness of the World Cup draw itself. Now that we've had some time to digest the groups that were selected and come to terms with the tragedies they contain, let's look back on some of the oddities within the show.
Ballin' Sepp Blatter's arrival
Although, it was better than when he showed up to the Ballon d'Or gala with Gerard Depardieu.
Marta and Bebeto having to stand on stage and watch an armadillo dance
Note the forced smiles of two people who don't want to be standing on stage while the whole world watches them watch a mascot dance like it's at a renaissance fair. The only thing worse for them would be...
Doing Bebeto's iconic baby rocking goal celebration with said mascot
The armadillo just ruins it.
Vicente Del Bosque presenting the World Cup trophy like he was handing over a hostage
There's a good chance he's giving back a fake and the real one is being used as a paper weight for the magazines on top of his toilet back home.
The "X" pot
Every time Zidane pulled a ball out of this pot, it seemed there was a chance it could contain the name of an audience member marked for death.
Fabio Cannavaro with hair
Sorry, but I'm never getting used to that. If you raise the World Cup trophy without hair, then you can never have it again. That's a rule.
Chasing the balls around the stage
Alcides Ghiggia is 86 years old. Despite this, he apparently decided all the young punks on stage weren't move fast enough for his liking, so he decided to speed things up by chucking a ball at co-host Fernanda Lima. She did not expect this, so the ball went rolling across the stage and FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke had to chase it down. This might have been the most enjoyable part of the show.
Whatever this is
Anyone watching this while high probably started freaking out at this point.
Pele not working in a dig at Lionel Messi
"Neymar rules and Messi drools lolololololololol! Pele forever!"
OH GOD MAKE IT STOP
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