A pensive photoshoot with Aston Villa signing Joe Bennett

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Aston Villa completed the transfer of 22-year-old defender Joe Bennett from Middlesbrough and instead of a standardly joyous and exuberant photoshoot of the England U-21 international at his new home, the club opted for a more restrained and thoughtful portrayal.

This is how it was produced...

"OK, Joe. Show me relaxed. Show me confidence. And we want to sell tickets so show me some leg..."

"Excellent. Now keep the relaxed confidence -- and the leg -- but let's see some excitement too. Really give it to us!"

"Perfect! Perfect! You're a master at this, Joe. Now lets get you on the treadmill. You're running...you're running and you're looking at yourself in the mirror. You're seeing your future self in the mirror and having a sort of emotional crisis about your own mortality. Just ignore the stains on the carpet behind you and focus on the emotional crisis. Ignore the stains, Joe. Ignore the stains!"

"Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Now let's show off your strength. Let's get you sitting on a bench, just casually holding a weight and looking at the camera like, 'What. I just got home from work, I'm holding a barbell, and the last thing I want to do is talk on the phone about insurance.'"

"OK, almost done. Joe. Almost done. Now let's lose the weight and just get you sitting on the bench. You're not sure what to do with your hands. You're starting to realize that I don't actually work for the club. You want to run away and maybe write some poetry about your parents but you're not quite sure..."

"Marvelous. We're done here. Tom Hanks is going to crap himself when he sees these."

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