Keith Olbermann's advice for American soccer fans

Dirty Tackle
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 24: TV Personality Keith Olbermann speaks onstage during the Olbermann panel at the ESPN portion of the 2013 Summer Television Critics Association tour at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on July 24, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)

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In the wake of the USA's disappointing World Cup elimination at the hands of Belgium, Keith Olbermann has offered his advice on "How to Make Soccer Work in America."

"I don't care whether or not soccer succeeds or fails in this country," says Olbermann in the preface to his remarks. "I don't care in the same way I don't care if the NFL succeeds or fails in this country."

"My job is to analyze and comment and mock," says Olbermann, who also takes a few obligatory shots at American sports, calling baseball "unwatchable," the Super Bowl "nothing but a brand name" and a "hockey shootout being like deciding a ball game with a hit by pitch contest."

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Olbermann then goes on to offer "seven actual serious pieces of advice to make soccer work or at least work better in this country."

The ESPN hosts offers nothing in the way of the advice on game strategy or player development that the U.S. soccer program could actually probably use on some level. Instead admitting that his advice is more "meta."

His main piece of advice seems to be to "stop imitating the English."

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According to Olbermann, soccer fans' usage of British football parlance such as "pitch," "nil" and "kit" comes off as pretentious and "sounds like one of those movies about ancient Rome where they're all speaking with British accents."

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