Hello? ... Yeah, I'm good. Who is this? ... What? ... Yeah right. ... Arsenal are making a £12 million bid for me? You're winding me up. ... Who is this? Is this Dan? If it is, you're an idiot, Dan. ... Oh, they want me to replace Nicklas Bendtner? They know I'm not a self-obsessed twunt, right? ... Stop lying, Dan. I know it's you. I'm going to punch you in the neck the next time I see you. ... Yes. Scoring 17 goals in two seasons with Wolves has turned Arsene Wenger into a big fan of mine. Has he been eating paste? ... OK. So, you're saying that this season, I, Kevin Doyle, striker for Wolves and Ireland, could be playing for Arsenal Football Club. If things go according to their master plan and not horribly against it. ... Seriously Dan, if this is you, I'm going to punch you so hard in the neck that you forget how to read. ... I'm hanging up now. ... Well I guess we'll see, now won't we? ... OK then. Tell Wenger that if he does sign me, I'll show up to the first day of training in my underpants with Jens Lehmann's face tattooed on my forehead. ... Screw you, Dan. Goodbye.