Man sues church for ruining his chance to play for Manchester Utd

Dirty Tackle

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If you've come to a stage in your life where you realize you may never fulfill your childhood dream of playing for a top Premier League club, don't blame your own lack of talent or alternate major life decisions — just sue someone!

Retired semi-professional footballer Arquimedes Nganga has done exactly that, suing the Baptist church for £10m ($16m) for squandering his chances of glory. The 46-year-old played for a third division side in Portugal, but quit at the age of 25 and spent 19 years as a "fervent evangelist". Even though he never earned more than £200 ($318) a month playing in his youth, he claims he could have been earning £200,000 ($318,000) a week playing for Manchester Utd. Seriously. The Guardian reports:

"I could definitely have had a long career in the Premiership," Nganga said. "I see many players playing today who I am not inferior to — and perhaps even better than. Most midfielders are either defensive or attacking but I was both. I had something new."

If Nanga wins this case, the legal precedent will definitely allow me to sue my stamp collection for stopping me getting a girlfriend until the age of 27.