Man sues church for ruining his chance to play for Manchester Utd

Your personal life choices may have stopped you working here (Getty)
Your personal life choices may have stopped you working here (Getty)

If you've come to a stage in your life where you realize you may never fulfill your childhood dream of playing for a top Premier League club, don't blame your own lack of talent or alternate major life decisions — just sue someone!

Retired semi-professional footballer Arquimedes Nganga has done exactly that, suing the Baptist church for £10m ($16m) for squandering his chances of glory. The 46-year-old played for a third division side in Portugal, but quit at the age of 25 and spent 19 years as a "fervent evangelist". Even though he never earned more than £200 ($318) a month playing in his youth, he claims he could have been earning £200,000 ($318,000) a week playing for Manchester Utd. Seriously. The Guardian reports:

"I could definitely have had a long career in the Premiership," Nganga said. "I see many players playing today who I am not inferior to — and perhaps even better than. Most midfielders are either defensive or attacking but I was both. I had something new."

If Nanga wins this case, the legal precedent will definitely allow me to sue my stamp collection for stopping me getting a girlfriend until the age of 27.