Keen to increase incidences of cheating and biting in North London, Arsenal have ramped up their interest in Luis Suarez by submitting an official bid of £40,000,001. The extra pound is not a meager tip, but a means of activating a clause in the Uruguayan's contract that stipulates he must be informed of any offers above £40m. (Of course, if he read the papers, he would have been equally informed of the Gunners' rejected £30m offer.)
Arsenal's check book, however, will remain dusty and neglected for the time being as the improved offer has been rejected. The Guardian claim Liverpool were "angered" by the second attempt at poaching their prized striker, perhaps because of the brazen extra pound, or the fact that the offer falls £9,999,999 below the sale price they have already made very clear.
Liverpool owner John Henry has made his thoughts known by mocking the London side on his Twitter feed:
What do you think they're smoking over there at Emirates?
— John W. Henry (@John_W_Henry) July 24, 2013
The jibe, which has over 38,000 retweets at the time of writing, will surely irk a club who are desperately trying to flex some financial muscle this summer. Perhaps Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis should write back asking what they were smoking "over there at Anfield" when they bought Joe Allen and Jordan Henderson.