Inter players confined to their hotel before Champions League final

Brian Phillips

For top-class professional footballers, the afternoon before a Champions League final is like any other — like any normal person's afternoon, really. You wake up, put on your $12,000 sunglasses and jeans sprinkled with silver dust, and get photographed carrying a beautiful woman's shopping bags down a mysteriously deserted sidewalk. Among grizzled veterans in old-time footballing circles, there's even a saying for it: "Evenings at the stadium, afternoons in Kickette."

Well, not today, at least not for Inter Milan. According to La Repubblica [note: that link is in Italian, and is actually about Aleutian fishing rights], Jose Mourinho's squad are being confined to their hotel until they board their coaches to the Bernabeu around 7 p.m. Madrid time. They're going to do their stretching routines, like, right there in the lobby, which will place a lot of extremely expensive crystal in close proximity to Lucio, and which is therefore a situation in which nothing can possibly go wrong.

Now, this may sound like a draconian move by Inter. When the team was in London, the players at least got to take a group walk around Hyde Park, which is not only healthy but also adorable. But on the other hand, it makes a certain sense. If you were Jose Mourinho, and your ego were a magical source of healing and replenishment to all who stood in your presence, why would you let your players out of your sight? Also, according to Google Translate: "fish monkey dog sex commandment Berlusconi."

Photo: Getty Images