The highly questionable personal beliefs of Premier League managers

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Sunderland's appointment of Paolo Di Canio as the club's new manager has proven controversial given the Italian's past comments about being a fascist. But what about the less publicized personal beliefs of other Premier League managers? Here is a list of them all for your scrutinizing pleasure...

Arsene Wenger, Arsenal: Believes that society should not covet material goods like trophies or coats with working zippers that fit properly and anyone who does so should be fitted with a muzzle.

Paul Lambert, Aston Villa: Believes that Christian Benteke is the omnipotent savior of all mankind (in the West Midlands).

Rafa Benitez, Chelsea: Believes that free speech is wrong and that the word "interim" should be stricken from the dictionary.

David Moyes, Everton: Believes that gingers will one day rule the earth with a freckled fist of mercilessness.

Martin Jol, Fulham: Believes we should explicitly legalize sex with aliens from other universes now so we don't have to waste time debating the matter in the future.

Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool: Believes that "The Office" is an actual documentary about the corporate world's best manager of people.

Roberto Mancini, Man City: Believes that physical violence against subordinates is perfectly fine.

Alex Ferguson, Man United: Believes that if you kill a man after the sun goes down, you haven't committed a crime.

Alan Pardew, Newcastle United: Believes that England should become a territory of France.

Chris Hughton, Norwich City: Believes Nickelback is an underrated band.

Harry Redknapp: Believes that literacy is pointless and children should be taught to "run around a bit" instead of learning math. Also that if your dog is clever enough to have a bank account in another country, you shouldn't have to pay taxes.

Nigel Adkins, Reading: Believes that relegation and all other negative consequences for misfortune should be outlawed. And he totally believed that before this season, too. Honest.

Mauricio Pochettino, Southampton: Believes that the tomato should be classified as a vegetable instead of a fruit.

Tony Pulis, Stoke City: Believes governments should mandate that all men, women and children take part in their local fight club.

Michael Laudrup, Swansea City: Believes that everything is pretty easy.

Andre Villas-Boas, Tottenham Hotspur: Believes that Gareth Bale should be allowed to dive all he wants. And that Roman Abramovich is an ugly jerkface.

Steve Clarke, West Bromwich Albion: Believes that Peter Odemwingie isn't a disruptive force.

Sam Allardyce, West Ham United: Believes that hardcore pornography is the only valid artistic form.

Roberto Martinez, Wigan Athletic: Believes that the Premier League season should only last from March to May.

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