Gossip squash: Vince McMahon, David Beckham, Cristiano Ronaldo and Vice

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

There are always a lot of dumb rumors going around that media outlets are all too eager to spread and that people are all too willing to believe. So as a public service, we here at DT bring you the reality check that will keep you from looking like a gullible Guti.

WWE chairman Vince McMahon interested in buying Newcastle! (A website no one's ever heard of) — What's not to believe about a report on a random website citing an anonymous source? For starters, it makes no mention of this rumor being around since 2011 and the fact that the Guardian debunked it last month.

David Beckham might name his MLS team "Miami Vice"! Like the TV show! And the less popular Colin Farrell movie! (Palm Beach Post) — This is one even I want to believe because it would be wonderful, but NBC Universal, which owns the rights to the show and film, would probably sue the David Beckham brand underpants off of MLS if they tried this. Plus Beckham's publicist, Simon Oliveira, already denied it and basically said you're stupid if you ever believed it.

David Beckham wants to sign Cristiano Ronaldo for the Miami Vice in 2017! (The Sun) — I'm sure he also wants to sign Lionel Messi, all of Bayern Munich and 1958 Pele. You know, like every other football club owner on the planet. But the man doesn't even know the name of his club, when they will start playing or where they will do it, so signing Ronaldo or a reanimated George Best in three years is pretty far down the list of priorities.

Mario Balotelli to Arsenal! With the help of Puma! (Daily Express/Metro) — Rumors of sportswear companies engineering megadeals to bring their sponsored athletes and their sponsored clubs together pop up from time to time. This one was inevitable since Arsenal and Balotelli both signed with Puma very recently, but if these things happened, Nike's biggest footballer (Cristiano Ronaldo) wouldn't be playing for Adidas' Real Madrid and Adidas' biggest footballer (Lionel Messi) wouldn't be playing for Nike's Barcelona.

So that's the Puma angle out. But what about Mario to Arsenal anyway? Well, he can't stop saying how happy he is to play for Milan "especially in difficult moments" and he also says the only thing he misses about England is Man City fans. He's probably not going to Arsenal (or any other English club) then.

David Moyes resigns himself to just winning the Champions League this season! (Dirty Tackle) — False. Moyes actually still believes Man United can win the FA Cup even though they were knocked out way back in the third round. Being optimistic helps limit the Sir Alex Ferguson night terrors to just the hours he's asleep.

- - - - - - -

Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!