No matter how horrible you think that unwanted present from your grandmother or creepy neighbor who makes dolls in his attic, it's nowhere near as bad as what Gillingham winger Chris Whelpdale got during his side's Boxing Day win at Crawley: a split scrotum.
From the BBC:
The 22-year-old was given treatment to the wound, which occurred late on in a victory that extended the club's winning run to nine games.
"It's a horrific injury," boss Andy Hessenthaler told BBC Radio Kent.
"It's absolutely disgusting. He's going to be very sore, and I'm sure his wife won't be too happy either."
Yes, Andy Hessenthaler has been waiting a while to break out his split scrotum humor.
This injury comes just one week after Blackburn's Scott Dann ruptured a testicle during a match, which proves that -- for the good of scrotums and testicles everywhere -- it's time to outlaw football.