Last week we heard the story of Manchester United's new 20-year-old goalkeeper David De Gea gobbling down a Krispy Kreme doughnut in the magazine aisle of a Greater Manchester Tesco without paying for it and getting reprimanded by the store's security staff. And now, after many, many jokes, we finally get to hear De Gea's version of events.
From The Sun:
De Gea, 20, said: "Nothing really happened. Me, my cousin and a friend from Spain went to the shop, we were hungry and took the doughnuts.
"We were going to buy more things. I realised I didn't have my wallet so I went out to the car to get it. Nothing more."
Yep. That's what they all say. I wasn't going to steal this 55" 3-D TV...I was just carrying it out to my car because that's where I left my wallet.
"They thought that I was leaving without paying so I tried to explain to them but my English is still not very good and we were there for a while.
"In the end a Spanish girl arrived and we understood each other and in the end they ended up apologising to us.
"They made a big thing out of nothing but I took the whole thing as something funny."
De Gea also says that he wasn't held out of Saturday's 2-0 win over Norwich because of this ("They're not going to drop me because of a doughnut.") and that it was simply the result of regular rotations. That doesn't mean that De Gea got off without a bit of ribbing about the incident, however. He admits that some of his teammates "gave me a few doughnuts as a joke," but he thought it was funny. Probably because his plot to get a free doughnut ended up getting him even more free doughnuts.
David De Gea is a criminal mastermind.
Image: The talented @BeardedGenius