Future News: Liverpool, Chelsea pitch ‘January Refund Window’

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish and Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas held an unprecedented joint press conference on Wednesday to announce their new plan for what they call a "January Refund Window."

According to the two managers, such a plan would institute a month-long period where instead of buying new players, clubs unhappy with players purchased the year before could return them to their original club for a full refund of their transfer fee. Plus interest to make up for the cheaper and less embarrassing signings the original fee may have been put towards.

"We're not going to name any names," Dalglish said, rubbing the back of his neck with nine fingers. "But say you spend a lot of money on, I don't know, a striker. And that striker suddenly stops scoring goals even though you spent an obscene amount of money on him. I mean truly, truly obscene. That's just not fair. Which is where our plan comes in."

Villas-Boas added: "It's especially unfair when you're not even the one who bought that insanely expensive striker who doesn't score goals. Hypothetically, I mean."

Other clubs are not so convinced by the proposal, however. When reached for comment, a Newcastle spokesman responded: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."

It's unlikely such a plan will be put into effect on the timetable of "right now, please" that Dalglish and Villas-Boas have recommended. But it is believed that Manchester United have already tried to invoke this idea in an attempt to get their money back for Portuguese striker Bebe and midfielder Michael Carrick. Arsenal, meanwhile, maintain that their plan for a "January Old Boys Window" where clubs just sign players who used to play for them but are now in their mid-30's is the better option.

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