Future News: Inter hire Jose Mourinho lookalike Ted Flangies

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Following the failed appointment of youth team coach Andrea Stramaccioni as Inter's caretaker manager, the club announced that Canadian meteorologist Ted Flangies has been hired on a five-year deal to take charge of the struggling squad. Flangies, hired solely for his striking resemblance to former Inter manager Jose Mourinho, claims he has never watched a football match in his life.

"Finding a manager that can live up to Mourinho has been difficult," said Inter owner Massimo Moratti. "We have tried men with great knowledge of the game, but they have all failed. So, we found a person who looks exactly like Mourinho. Seriously, it's scary how much he looks like Jose. Also, he has an innate distrust of UNICEF. He's perfect."

Flangies will be Inter's sixth manager since Mourinho left the club after winning the treble in 2010 and despite his lack of experience, the players are still excited by the new leadership.

"I saw him [Flangies] in the hall and I thought it was the real Mourinho," midfielder Wesley Sneijder excitedly told reporters. "To be honest, I feel more confident already. Now if they can just hire a Rafa Benitez lookalike for him to make fun of, we will surely start winning trophies again."

Flangies, meanwhile, is less certain of himself. He told the press: "I'm just supposed to say that I'm 'special' and argue with everyone I meet, but who does that? I don't know about this, you guys."

It is believed that Chelsea are already preparing a £170 million package to woo Flangies away from Inter.