Future News: Arsene Wenger to buy FIFA 09

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has announced that he will purchase EA Sports' FIFA 09 instead of the upcoming FIFA 14 release, citing the five-year-old video game's "better value." The highly anticipated FIFA 14, which is set to be released next month, has a number of new and improved features, but Wenger believes the out of date, yet more familiar game is the one for him.

"Quality-wise, the games I have now are perfect," Wenger told reporters, who were somehow interested for reasons they cannot fully explain. "But my Sensible Soccer 2006 has scratches on it and my Virtua Striker 2 doesn't work right now, so I must buy another game. And instead of buying FIFA 14, which is much more expensive for essentially the same thing, I have decided to buy FIFA 09 for £3. It's simply a better value. Plus, I know I like the soundtrack and I would rather play with Arsenal's 2009 squad anyway."

Wenger's decision has prompted further outrage from Arsenal fans already upset with the manager for not spending in the summer transfer window despite having funds available to him and going eight years without a trophy.

"It's unbelievable!" said Arsenal supporter Archie Hush. "How are we supposed to compete with the likes of Man City and Chelsea with a manager who won't even pay 35 quid for a new video game? The man has millions in the bank. I bet even Spurs will go out and buy the Ultimate Edition now that they have the money. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone."

As usual, Wenger has made it clear that he will not give in to his critics, though.

"FIFA 09 is a very good game. The trophies in it are definitely within reach. I just hope there is a way to quickly skip through the transfer window in Manager Mode or else it could get boring."

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