Future News: Andre Villas-Boas offers Emmanuel Adebayor £4 million to stop scoring goals and making him look bad

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Former Spurs manager Andre Villas-Boas has offered striker Emmanuel Adebayor £4 million to stop scoring goals this season. Under Villas-Boas the 30-year-old Togo international was exiled to train with the club's U-21 players. Since the Portuguese was sacked in December, Adebayor has scored 11 goals in 14 matches across all competitions under current manager Tim Sherwood, including two in four minutes against Dnipro to send Spurs into the Europa League round of 16.

"I will give Adebayor my entire compensation package from Tottenham — £4 million — if he stops scoring all these goals," Villas-Boas told the receptionist at his local newspaper. "He's clearly doing it just spite me. These goals shouldn't count. Spite goals shouldn't count!"

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Adebayor did not make a single Premier League appearance under Villas-Boas this season despite the struggles of summer signings like Roberto Soldado. Under Sherwood, he has become the club's scoring leader as Spurs have moved from seventh to fifth in the table.

This post-Villas-Boas bump is becoming something of a trend. Prior to his experience at Spurs, Villas-Boas was sacked after just seven months with Chelsea, where he drew criticism for attempting to phase out the club's veteran leadership in Frank Lampard, John Terry and Ashley Cole. But when Villas-Boas' replacement, Roberto Di Matteo, reinstated the trio, the club went on to win the Champions League that same season. Despite these consecutive indignities in the Premier League, Villas-Boas still aspires to one day lead Barcelona or Real Madrid.

"I would love to train either Barcelona or Real Madrid," Villas-Boas said to the disinterested receptionist. "It would be a dream to bench a player like Xavi or Cristiano Ronaldo."

This has been Future News: news from the future.

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Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!

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