Everything you need to know about Robert Lewandowski, destroyer of Real Madrid

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Robert Lewandowski scored all four of Borussia Dortmund's goals in their 4-1 win against Real Madrid in the first leg of their Champions League semifinal. It was obviously a masterful performance, but it was also a record-setting one, too. Lewandowski became the first player to ever score three goals or more against Real Madrid in the Champions League and the first player to score four goals in a European semifinal or final since Ferenc Puskas in 1960, according to STATS. With those four goals, he now has 10 in this Champions League campaign, second only to Ronaldo's 11. What follows is all the information we assume to be true about the Polish international.

-Strange but true: While looking to move away from Polish club Lech Poznan in 2010, Lewandowski canceled a trip to Blackburn because volcanic ash from Iceland grounded all flights at the time. He went on to sign with Dortmund for a fee of €4.5 million. So maybe the whole purpose of that volcanic eruption was to save Lewandowski from the pitch-invading chickens of Blackburn.

-He scored 22 goals in his second Bundesliga season (2011/12) to become the league's third highest scorer behind Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Mario Gomez. This season, he is the league's top scorer with 23 goals. Rumors that he personally sabotaged the careers of Huntelaar and Gomez using only a fire hose and mind control remain unconfirmed.

-With teammate Mario Gotze already confirmed to be going to Bayern Munich this summer, Lewandowski reportedly also has a deal in place to join the soon to be crowned Bundesliga champions.

-He was named the Polish Revelation of the Year in 2008 and the Polish Player of the Year in 2011 and 2012. He will soon be named Polish Nightmare of the Year by Real Madrid.

-He has made 53 appearances for Poland and scored the first goal of Euro 2012 in their 1-1 draw against Greece.

-His father was a judo champion and played second-division football in Poland. His fiance was a bronze medalist at the 2009 Karate World Cup. Consider that a warning.

-He doesn't like to share his beer.

-He is now No. 7 on Jose Mourinho's "People 2 Poke" list.

-He is Dortmund's training-ground trollmeister.

-He's still just 24 years old.

Previously in everything you need to know: Michu, Eden Hazard, Papiss Cisse and Burak Yilmaz

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