For many years, pitch invaders have been embarrassing slow and uncoordinated stewards with their self-indulgent antics. But now the stewards have developed a weapon that can destroy pitch invaders with terrifying ease and extreme prejudice. He is Super Steward.
Super Steward's talents were put to use during a friendly between Brazil and Russian at Stamford Bridge. With Russia up 1-0 late in the match, a pitch invader ran through the center circle and towards one of the goals, but Super Steward chased him down and stopped him with some kind of WWE finishing move. Though Russia's players were likely intimidated by Super Steward's demonstration of speed and ruthlessness, Fabio Capello blamed the pitch invader for the late equalizer scored by Brazilian striker Fred.
"My only disappointment is that after a supporter came on the pitch my players lost their concengtration and against Brazil you cannot lose your concentration."
Earlier another supporter had run on the pitch and was also quickly bundled away by security, but when Brazil coach Luiz Felipe Scolari was told what Capello had said, he replied with a story of his own.
"When I was a coach in Portugal we were playing against Estonia and a very beautiful girl came on the pitch topless, everyone was looking at her -- even me. At the time the game was 0-0, and we ended up winning it 2-0.
"I don't know if the guy today distracted the Russian team, but who knows, it can happen."
Scolari probably told that story while doing this...
Or, most likely, this...
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.