DT Exclusive: Why Lampard ‘stormed off’ during Swansea match

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

Much has been made of Frank Lampard's time sitting on the bench this season. He reportedly reached a breaking point near the end of Chelsea's 4-1 win against Swansea City last weekend and "stormed off" after Andre Villas-Boas used his last sub on Josh McEachran and not him. The following is a transcript of what actually took place in the closing minutes of that match.

Lampard: Boss?

AVB: Yes? Who are you?

Lampard: I'm Frank! I wore a name tag all last week, how do you still not know my name?

AVB: What do you want, Dave?

Lampard: Since I'm not playing and I just finished reading the complete works of George R.R. Martin, do you mind if I go to the bathroom? And, again, my name is Frank.

AVB: I do mind, Jerry.

{ysp:more}

Lampard: Frank! And why do you mind? It's the 80th minute, we're up by two, we've only got one substitution left and Josh is sitting right next to me.

AVB: I might want to use you instead, Tim. Just hold it for 10 more minutes.

Lampard: I don't think I can, though.

AVB: Of course you can. I have faith in you, Bill.

Lampard: Frank!

AVB: OK, Josh -- go in for Raul.

McEachran: Yes, boss.

Lampard: What?! I thought you didn't want me to go to the bathroom because you were going to put me in?!

AVB: Sorry, Leslie. Changed my mind.

Lampard: Well, now can I go? We're still up by two and I couldn't even enter the match anyway since you just used our last sub. Please?

AVB: No dice, Philben.

Lampard: Frank! My name is Frank! And I'm going to the bathroom because if I don't, my bladder will explode like trinitrotoluene!

AVB: Darren, wait.

Lampard: What? What do you want from me?

AVB:

Lampard: What?! I really have to go! Speak!

AVB: I forgot your name.

Lampard: I'm going to use your office as a toilet.

Photo: Getty

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