Spurs midfielder Luka Modric decided to skip the club's first training sessions of the preseason and missed the team flight to the U.S. in an attempt to force them to sell him to Real Madrid. Well, that didn't work and instead all Modric got was a large fine and the derision of chairman Daniel Levy and new manager Andre Villas-Boas. So now Modric has decided to return and, according to The Sun, apologize for his behavior. The following is a transcript of his first conversation with Levy after making his comeback.
Modric: Heyyyyyyy boss. How, uh, how are you? Really super good, I hope.
Levy: Luka. I'm surprised to see you here.
Modric: What, uh, what do you mean? Isn't this the day we were supposed to report? Oh wait- oh wait, did I get my days mixed up again? Oh man. Talk about a brain fart!
Levy: Seriousy, Luka?
Modric: Would you believe I was abducted by aliens and they only just returned me here after a terrifying journey to another galaxy?
Levy: I would.
Modric: Oh. Well what if instead of aliens I said Harry Redknapp kidnapped me and made me run around in circles in his garden until I escaped while he took a break to play Nintendo Wii.
Levy: I actually would believe that, but we both know that's not what happen, Luka. Not this time.
Modric: OK. Fine. I was holding out for a move to Madrid. I'm sorry, Mr. Levy. It was all my agent's idea, I swear. It won't happen again....until another club I like more seems interested in me.
Levy: Well maybe it's time to get a new agent, Luka.
Modric: But I just did get a new agent!
Levy: And who might that be?
Redknapp: We meet again, Mr. Levy. The name's Redknapp. 'Arry Redknapp. Professional...ish football agent and tax advisor extraordinaire. Now, are you going to sell Luka to Madrid or am I going to have get my business partner Rosie the dog in here to play with a hardball in your office?
Levy: Luka, why would you hire Harry to be your agent?
Modric: After you sacked him he showed up at my house and he said "I'm your agent now" and started going through my refrigerator. I didn't know what to do!
Redknapp: And there ain't nothing you can do either, Mr. Levy. I'm going to get this boy the move he wants even if I have to learn how to send one of them text messages to do it. I even bought a car phone and everything.
Levy: I guess that makes you quite the wheeler and dealer then, doesn't it Harry?
Redknapp: What? No it doesn't.
Levy: Yes, you clearly are. Only a wheeler and dealer would be able to mastermind a plan like this.
Redknapp: I told you I'm not a wheeler and dealer. Don't call me a wheeler and dealer.
Levy: Wheeler and dealer.
Redknapp: F***! That's it. You're on your own, Luka. I'm out of here.
Levy: Then there were two.
Modric: I'm sorry? Please?
Levy: You're never going anywhere, Luka. Just look at Gomes. He's terrible and we still won't sell him.
Gomes: He makes me clean at night.