DT Exclusive: Jose Mourinho's 'silent' halftime team talk in full

Dirty Tackle
"U wot m8?"


"U wot m8?"

On Saturday, Chelsea put in a poor first half against Fulham and Jose Mourinho was not pleased. So at halftime, the man who usually has a difficult time keeping quiet did just that. And in the second half, Andre Schurrle had a hat trick, giving Chelsea a 3-1 win.

From the Guardian:

"I didn't say a word at half-time, I was silent," Mourinho said. "Normally I give them two or three minutes, for them to clean or change boots or shirts, and then after that they know I'll start talking. They were there, ready for me, but I was not ready for them. I decided not to speak because, if I started to speak about the first half, I'd need more than the 10 minutes of half-time. I was so disappointed.

"That was the first time I've done that, at Chelsea for sure, and also perhaps in my career. But I haven't had many first halves like this one. It was very bad, so I decided not to speak and went outside, did nothing, just waited for the second half. The players showed they were very intelligent. Without words, they understood the first half was really poor and they transformed it into a fantastic second half."

The following is Mourinho's silent halftime team talk in full...

Mourinho: I am very disappointed in what I see out there. Very disappointed. In fact, I am so angry that I will not speak to any of you for the entire halftime. Deal with it.

[Players talk amongst themselves]

Mourinho: I mean it. I will not speak a word this entire time. Not even to say that Eden looked worse than Rafa Benitez doing handstands on a nude beach.

Hazard: Two things: 1) You're speaking right now and 2) That is both the meanest and grossest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Mourinho: What was the meanest and grossest? I didn't say anything. I am being as quiet as Andre Schurrle playing against last-place Fulham and not going to the World Cup with Germany as result.

Schurrle: Please no! We can hear you!

Mourinho: Why are you getting upset? All of you must be hearing things inside your own heads because I am just standing here not talking. I am not talking about how those cardboard Simpsons characters they made of you could beat Fulham but you are not. I am also not talking about how you should all be wearing masks like Ramires so the people cannot tell that it is you playing so bad.

Ivanovic: But...you are saying all of these things.

Mourinho: No, I don't think so.

Ivanovic: I'm pretty sure you are.

Mourinho: What do I have to say so you know that I am not saying anything? Maybe I should stand outside and be silent there until the second half.

[Players watch Mourinho leave the dressing room]

Mourinho: Now I'm standing outside the door! Not talking here too! So you definitely can't hear me say that Fernando Torres has fewer Premier League goals than Steve Sidewell! And Chelsea sold Steve Sidwell for a flip phone!

Torres: We can still hear you!

Mourinho: What?

Torres: I said we can still hear you!

Mourinho: Oh. I actually couldn't hear you that time. This door is quite solid.

Schurrle: Ahhhh! This is so confusing! I am ready to score so many goals just to make the voices stop! Let's go win!

Mourinho: I am genius.


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Brooks Peck is the editor of Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow on Twitter!

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