As part of the partnership between Real Madrid and Audi, all 23 members of the squad plus the manager are given a brand new free car every year. Because the people who can most easily afford luxury cars obviously shouldn't have to pay for them.
The handover of the keys to these cars has been turned into a promotional event, but the distribution of who gets which models seems to be a sign of the hierarchy within the team. For example, even though Gareth Bale encroached on Cristiano Ronaldo's world record transfer fee over the summer, Audi doesn't seem to feel the Welshman is worthy of a car worth anywhere near as much as the one Ronaldo gets.
Here's the breakdown of who got what...
The most valuable automobile on offer was the RS6 Avant, which starts at €129,100, and that only went to Ronaldo. As you can see, it combines a sleek design with plenty of room for his young son, perhaps a second Balon d'Or award and 45,000 masks of his own face. All the things he needs when driving around town.
Xabi Alonso took the €96,110 S7, proving that he has the best eye for style and sophistication in the team.
The third most valuable car went to vice-captain Sergio Ramos because no one likes Iker Casillas anymore. The RS5 is priced at €90,730. Why would they give someone so accident prone a car that valuable? Well, this must be the final stage of crash testing or something.
The A8, which starts at €85,320 was the car that excited manager Carlo Ancelotti's eyebrow the most. He will definitely be singing Italian rap music while cruising around in this ride.
Gareth Bale, Iker Casillas, Fabio Coentrao, Angel Di Maria, Sami Khedira, Asier Illarrramendi, Isco, Jese, Marcelo, Luca Modric, Nacho, and Pepe all got the Q7, which goes for €59,900. These players are apparently all at the "good, but not €60,000 car good" level.
Karim Benzema, Alvaro Arbeloa and Alvaro Morata all got the SQ5, which is priced at €58,500. This is the underachievers tier.
Raphael Varane got the €44,320 S3 Sportback — the "you're good, but you're still only 20 years old, so slow your roll" car.
Carvajal and Diego Lopez both got the €37,240 Q5 just to limit Iker's crying to 23 hours day.
And finally, the most modestly priced car went to third-choice goalkeeper Jesus Fernandez, who got the €23,830 A3 Sportback.
The lesson here? It really shouldn't matter how much more expensive your teammate's car is than yours as long as they're all free.