If it continued… (Manchester United v Real Madrid, second leg)

Brooks Peck
Dirty Tackle

With a bit of help from Nani's high boot and the referee's red card, Real Madrid came from behind to win the second leg of their Champions League round of 16 tie against Manchester United 2-1 and advance on an aggregate score of 3-2. Less than 15 minutes after Nani was sent off in the second half, Real Madrid scored the two goals they needed with Cristiano Ronaldo notching the decider against his former club. After the match, Jose Mourinho admitted, "The best team lost. We didn't play well, we didn't deserve to win but football is like this." Which begs the old question, "What if it continued?"

97' -- Sergio Ramos hopes that everyone has forgotten about his own goal by now. And his missed penalty in last year's semifinal shootout. And the time he dropped the Copa del Rey trophy under the bus.

101' -- Real Madrid keeper Diego Lopez falls down pretending he's hurt to waste time and accidentally falls asleep.

105' -- Ronaldo scores again, holding his hands up as he does it so as not to offend Man United fans. This permanently ruins the life of a kid in the stands holding a "We want you back Ronaldo! But... don't score tonight!" sign.

108' -- Nigel De Jong sues Nani for copyright infringement.

110' -- Luka Modric enjoys finally existing again.

113' -- Playing his 1,000th match, Ryan Giggs sucks the remaining lifeblood out of Kaka to fuel him for his next 1,000 matches, but only gets enough for about 75 more minutes.

116' -- Nemanja Vidic continues to experience motherboard malfunctions from the double punch to the head he took in the first half. He thinks he's Tony Bennett.

118' -- Robin van Persie misses a cross and spins in midair for the 112th consecutive minute.

122' -- Tom Henning Ovrebo texts referee Cuneyt Cakir to see if he wants to be roommates.

124' -- No one realizes that Borussia Dortmund and Shakhtar Donetsk also played each other.

127' -- Didier Drogba considers calling the Nani red card a f***ing disgrace, but then he remembers the time he was shown a yellow card for getting kicked in the chest by Jonny Evans and smirks instead.

135' -- Jose Mourinho strides towards the tunnel as the match goes on, which is a far more devastating celebration than any power slide he could ever do.

139' -- The match is abandoned when Rio Ferdinand refuses to stop sarcastically clapping in everyone's faces.

145' -- Alex Ferguson sits in his trophy warehouse and wonders why bad things can't only happen to other people. Also feeling somewhat alone, Iker Casillas appears out of nowhere to offer him a free hug. Ferguson kicks him in the face. He starts to feel better.