After beating Valencia 3-0 to avoid another round of rumors about his job security and ensure Chelsea's place in the Champions League knockout rounds, Andre Villas-Boas unloaded a rant on the press that would've made Jose Mourinho jealous.
From the BBC:
"My players deserve respect they don't get," said Villas-Boas.
"We've been chased by different kind of people and pressures and here we have given everyone a slap in the face."
"It has been over the top," he said.
"There is only one team in the country at the moment and that is Manchester City. I hope they qualify for the Champions League knockout stage but the attitude to them is if they qualify they qualify, if they don't they don't - we don't get that margin.
"This is a continuous persecution, it is aggression towards one club."
Well, if the press were as scared of Frank Lampard as they are of Mario Balotelli, that might be different.
"It is unfortunate for you guys [the media] because you have to report on a brilliant win for Chelsea and we qualify first in the group. It is difficult for everybody and today this is difficult for you."
I'm pretty sure he stuck out his tongue after saying that. And then he had Luis Suarez give everyone the finger.
"Finishing top of the group is fantastic.
"It is against all odds. Nobody would have put a bet on us finishing top but it has happened and it is very satisfying.
"The team was excellent. It was a win of human values, team spirit, solidarity, responsibility, strength of character, resilience, ability to take criticism."
As great as Chelsea played, I'm not quite sure how this was "against all odds" or a "win of human values." But, to be fair, Villas-Boas was in full-on rant mode at that point and he was probably feeling so good about releasing his pent-up frustration that he could have just as easily shouted "Papaya! Papaya!" before actually slapping everyone in the face.