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If you've been near social media today, you've heard a joke or 80 about Jets tight end Kellen Winslow.
In short, a police report claimed that a woman said she saw Winslow in his car at a Target parking lot, and she thought Winslow was masturbating. Police arrived, saw Winslow “slouched in his seat and moving around," saw two open containers of Vaseline and two bags of what turned out to be synthetic marijuana in the car. Winslow said he got lost looking for a Boston Market.
Boston Market wasn't letting that opportunity pass:
— Boston Market (@bostonmarket) January 17, 2014
Winslow, through his publicist, released a statement denying the masturbation claim. He was simply changing clothes when the woman saw him, it said. Here's the statement, via Fox Sports:
"Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance. He changed his clothes in his vehicle as not to smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim," the statement said.
The moral of the story, of course, is always map out directions to Boston Market before you leave home.
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