"Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis is inescapably catchy and an open invitation for parodies. A witty gentleman named Evan Walsh decided to bring some mad flow to the track about Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins, in support of the Boston Bruins in the 2013 NHL Eastern Conference Final.
Guess what? It’s No. 1 on iTunes! No, just kidding, it’s effing terrible. (NSFW WARNING: A few salty adult words.)
A few random thoughts …
• Every time a Bruins fans says he’d pay to see Sidney Crosby’s jaw shattered by another puck, a torch lit for Matt Cooke goes out.
• “Chara's a big ass Ruski." Sorry, Slovakia, but all know he’s got crazy vowels and is totally Russian looking. Oh, wait, look, a rebuttal:
• Jarome Iginla does not smell like rotten milk. He smells of tooth whitener, Albertan beef and regret. We all know this.
• Despite our cynicism about Evan Walsh's status as a lyricist, “He might be 60 but hey he's still got it/Used to have a mullet and damn he used to rock it” is the greatest Jimmy Buffett lyric never written.
• All that said, it’s good to see Dave Attell show off his hip-hop skills, even while wearing a miner’s lamp and a bathrobe.