Somebody has too much time on his hands, and I love him for it. YouTube user "Pulltabproductions11" has chronicled Minnesota's All-Hockey Hair Team since 2011, and he truly outdid himself this winter.
The Minnesota High School League state hockey tournament is arguably the nation's greatest. The tournament annually draws more than 100,000 fans, raising upwards of $1 million in profit for the MSHL. Local TV ratings reached an all-time high in 2012, when Benilde-St. Margarets (Minn.) School made its magical run to the state title in the wake of teammate Jack Jablonski's on-ice paralyzation.
This year, the MSHL even hired former ESPN play-by-play man Gary Thorne for the broadcast this past weekend, when East Grand Forks and Edina (Minn.) High repeated as Class AA state champions, but Thorne was no match for the man behind the microphone on this YouTube video.
I highly doubt Thorne was dropping lines like "the flop is vintage and beautiful." To be fair, the lettuce displayed by this year's crop of preps was nothing short of stunning. How about Lindstrom (Minn.) Chisago Lakes High junior defensemen Joseph Kimlinger and Zach Pautz both cracking the top 10 with their respective "Clark Gable Clutterbuck" and "Just Crazy Mane." As the narrator would say, love that.
While Eagan won the title on the ice, the Wildcats were robbed twice here, if you ask me. Senior forward Tom Muck's "orange mullet, ginger flow" easily should have cracked the top 10, and senior defenseman Tom Muck's "dual exhaust pipes" deserved the No. 1 spot hands down. C'est la coiffe, I guess.
P.S. I also appreciated his passion for the wink in pregame introductions. "People love the wink. It brings us together. It's beautiful. It's special." I smell an All-Wink Team in years to come.