Weightlifting is the strong man's spelling bee

I have spent the past few hours mesmerized by men's weightlifting. The feed is online at NBCOlympics.com, and I am fascinated. As I watched, I realized that the event reminded me of something, some other event that I was sucked into, and before I knew it, I had spent hours watching. I realized -- it's the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee!

In weightlifting, the lifter comes out, chalks his hands, goes to the middle of the stage, and after many histrionics, attempts to lift the barbell. The coaches yell, the crowds cheer and the lifter grunts. If he is not successful, a horn is sounded.

At the spelling bee, the speller comes out, goes to the middle of the stage, and after many histrionics, spells a word. The parents cry, the crowd cheers, the speller spells. If he is not successful, a bell is rung.

Let's combine the events. Instead of weights, the lifters can lift spellers. The gold medalist at 62 kg was Zhang Xiangxiang from China, while Phaisan Hansawong from Thailand and Tolkunbek Hudaybergenov from Turkmenistan placed in the top five. The spellers can just spell the names of the lifters. Some spellers might surprise us and lift crazy amounts, or maybe a lifter has dictionary-like knowledge of random words. They could even team up. Who would be able to stop the team of Sameer Mishra and Eko Yuli Irawan? Nobody, that's who.

Photo via Getty Images

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