It was only a matter of time before American swimmer Jessica Hardy appeared in public to make a lame defense of her positive test for the banned stimulant clenbuterol, and she did so this morning on CBS's Early Show. Said Hardy of the phone call she received informing her of the positive test:
"I was taking notes right when she called, to write down my information and everything and I spelled the drug name wrong even... I was devastated."
So that's her defense? "I can't be guilty because I don't know how to spell the name of the drug I tested positive for?" Who's Jessica Hardy receiving legal advice from, Lionel Hutz?
We've seen athletes who have failed drug tests use second-hand smoke, the Cuban mafia and unborn twins as excuses in the past, but I think Hardy's "if I can't spell, the test ain't swell" defense is a new one.
Look, Jessica, maybe you're innocent. Maybe science failed you, like I failed it in the 11th grade. But try to come up with a better excuse than poor spelling. I'm sure many doctors don't know how to spell clenbuterol. I mean, before I just looked it up I couldn't spell Heineken, but that doesn't mean I didn't drink seven of them last night.