HGH makes you go faster, says most obvious study ever

Illegal injections of human growth hormone and testosterone help sprinters go faster, says everybody in the world who had ever heard of HGH a recent study by the World Anti-Doping Agency.

The Los Angeles Times reports on the obvious findings:

The eight-week study, one of the most rigorous examinations of growth hormone and athletic performance to date, involved 96 healthy, recreationally trained athletes with an average age of 27. The 63 male participants were assigned to receive one of four regimens: two milligrams per day of growth hormone; 250 milligrams per week of testosterone; both growth hormone and testosterone; or placebo injections.

After eight weeks, researchers found that growth hormone improved sprint capacity in men and women by an average of 3.9% over the placebo group - which would trim 0.4 of a second from a 10-second time in the 100-meter dash ... That same 3.9% improvement could cut 1.2 seconds from a 30-second time in a 50-meter swim.

"This is helpful in showing those skeptics out there who say it doesn't help performance that they're wrong," said David Howman, director general of the Montreal-based World Anti-Doping Agency, which funded the study. "They should wake up and see they should be putting a lot more effort into detection of this substance," he said.

Wait, who was saying that HGH doesn't help performance? Have any rational, respectable folks been arguing that point? It's interesting that the researchers can put an exact number on it, but what good does that do? If it helps just a little -- and nobody was doubting that --then it should be illegal.

And who is Howman referring to when he says "they" should "wake up?" Doesn't he work for WADA? Aren't they the ones who need to come up with a test instead of, oh, spending eight weeks studying something everyone knew already? What's next, an investigation into whether drinking a 12-pack has any affect on driving ability?

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