Feast your eyes on the remarkable new mask of Western Michigan University Broncos goaltender Frank Slubowski.
Known as The Big Slubowski to his teammates -- in loving reference to the classic Coen Brothers film, "The Big Lebowski," though I hope you knew that -- the Prince Rupert, B.C., native commissioned a mask that pays tribute to the film from Head Strong Grafx.
Thus, we see the Dude, his sunglasses reflecting the rug that really tied the room together -- before it was, sadly, urinated upon by Jackie Treehorn's bumbling thugs. No word on whether a hidden image appears if you hold a piece of paper over the mask and shade it.
Slubowski's other nicknames, if you're wondering, include the Dude, you know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
Also: Frank the Tank, referenced on the other side of the mask.
It should have been a picture of a streaking Will Ferrell. That's a missed opportunity.
But Slubowski isn't just some mediocre goaltender with an epic mask. He was named the Broncos' most valuable player in his rookie season, and last March, he led them to the Central Collegiate Hockey Association championship. Clearly, he was the man for his time and place. Sometimes there's a man.
The game took place on a Saturday night, by the way, juuuuust after Shomer Shabbat. Walter Sobchack would have been pleased.
Maybe we'll see Slubowski and his mask one day in the NHL, but if we don't, I hope he goes to the KHL. The Dude deserves to be in the presence of so many white Russians.
Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney
s/t Adam Bodner.