The dream of the male hockey fan in the arena: Running to the men's room for a perfectly-timed visit, expelling his beverage of choice and hustling back to his seat without missing a single faceoff.
The reality of the male hockey fan in the arena: Discovering that everyone else in your section had the same idea, and waiting on an seemingly infinite line before hustling back to your seat, only to have your buddy tell you that you missed three goals.
A group of Winnipeg Jets fans can't shake off the disappointment of that scenario, leaving them flush at MTS Centre during games; so some whiz decided to aim his anger online in a petition, to which over 230 people have streamed.
Their battle cry: If they're going to see a man about a horse during the game, why not have it take place at a trough?
Have you noticed the long line ups at the MTS Center men's washrooms? Back in the days of the Winnipeg Arena, the trough system made that wait short. After finishing four-plus beers, the average Joe has to go do his business. The new washroom service in the MTS Center cannot handle the capacity of need to go people. There are 10-plus men's washrooms on the mean level with only four urinals per a washroom. There are 8,000-plus fans at a sold out game, 75-percent which are male and 75 percent of them have been drinking beer; that's about 4,000 or half the people on the main level that need to go. Think long lineups wasting most of the period break, just to take a leak. These long lines also slow down the movement in the concourse.
With a trough in place of the four urinals you can have an average of 10 people going at once, speeding up the process. This is to all the beer drinkers, people who hate waiting in line and trying to push there way threw the concourse. So sign even if you're not from the Peg but have experience.
Experience with … urination? Well that narrows the field …
There's no indication when the petition was posted, but interest in the urinal trough issue surged when CBC Manitoba grabbed and shook the story on Wednesday:
They want True North Sports Sports and Entertainment, the owner of the MTS Centre, to bring back the troughs — the open urinal used back in the old Winnipeg Arena. They say it doesn't take a wiz to figure out the troughs are a wee faster.
"It's a little more primitive, but if you got to go, you got to go, right?" said another fan.
So you just use the sink like everyone does a football game, right? (Ladies … were you aware of this?)
CBC reports that "an official at MTS Centre said they hear the call for the culvert but their current bathroom system is going to stay as it is, for now."
So on the one hand, such modern virtues as privacy, cleanliness and order will be maintained for the foreseeable future; on the other, long lines of beer-soaked bladders and disgruntled fans will remain a part of the arena experience.
Worst of all, think of all the memories fans are being deprived of at the game that old Jets fans had a chance to experience! As Jeff Dreidger wrote on the petition: "My fondest memory of the trough would be watching the cigarette butt from the guy around the corner finally go floating by... oh the good ol days."
Trough or no trough? For us, it trickles down to this essential question: Can fans still place humorous urinal cake stickers in a trough?