Superman doesn't usually punch humans. This is because he's Superman, and his fist would enter and exist through their bodies in a millisecond, creating quite a mess. He reserves his punches for other things: Giant robots, super-space monsters, whack-a-mole ...
We're reminded of this every time Zdeno Chara fights, because he knows his own strength. Witness his measured bombs against Jay Harrison in this kerfuffle between the Carolina Hurricanes and Boston Bruins on Tuesday night — and then wonder what could have been if Cam Ward and Tuukka Rask had dropped the gloves.
Rask: "You want to go?
Ward: "No [expletive] way, Timmy."
Rask: "It's not Timmy, it's me, Tuukka."
Ward: "Oh, totally then."
Rask: "Sigh ... Forget it dude. Whatevs. [Looks for milk crate to throw]"
Chara was given two minutes for instigating, five for fighting and a 10-minute misconduct. Jay Harrison was given two for roughing, five for fighting and a chance to live another day by Chara. Rask was given two minutes for really having no business down there.
For other Chara fights, check out his HockeyFights.com page.
UPDATE: This game went off the rails. Nathan Horton rag-dolled Tim Gleason, the Bruins had about 100 guys in the penalty box and Claude Julien was tossed. Here's Julien after the game, via WEEI:
"I wish I knew," Julien said. "I really wish I knew. I guess when they announced the misconduct to Lucic, I just shook my head. I guess that was merit for being kicked out. That's all I can come up with."
The Bruins were assessed 72 penalty minutes minutes, and though Julien seemed upset with his own penalty, he did not blame the officiating for the result of the contest, which dropped the Bruins to 2-4-0 on the season.
"We have to take responsibility for our own actions here. … I think what I saw from tonight is we started off the game well. In the first period we had some great chances, but we're not capitalizing," he said. "What I see is frustration setting in, and the minute we start getting frustrated, we lose focus of our game, and it gets worse and worse. That's been a bit of a pattern this year."
The Canes game was the most egregious example.