Someone needs to get Vancouver Province columnist Gordon McIntyre an urban dictionary.
Sure, his outrage over TSN commentator Darren Pang calling Henrik and Daniel Sedin(notes) "Twinkies" over the weekend -- in the context that Mikael Samuelsson(notes) benefits from "playing with the Twinkies," as Pang said on TSN -- sparked one of the weirdest controversies of the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs; but it could have been so much more, depending on the definition of the term.
McIntyre went with "small sponge cake with the fake cream filling." Urban Dictionary offers so many more (NSFW) variations; imagine the level of indignation if McIntyre had accused Pang of calling the Sedins "a fat retarded kid that says he hates twinkies but shoves them in his trumpet and sucks instead of blows"? C'mon, Gord: If you're going to manufacture a controversy, go all-in.
Instead, McIntyre felt Pang was calling the twins girly-men. From The Province:
What's sad is you might expect a talking head from the East to still call the Sedins sissy names, but Pang has broadcast experience with the Coyotes and Blues, and must have seen the physical pounding the Sedins regularly take without batting an eye, let alone missing any games.
Pang sought to cool the controversy with this tweet on Sunday:
Hey Vancouver fans, meant nothing by the "Twinkies" comment on the Sedins. No one has more respect than I do. It is term used for Twins.
As if we're supposed to believe that! "Twinkies" for "Twins"? The audacity! Outside of this and this and this and this and this and this, we couldn't find a single reference of one term being used for the other.
As Toronto Sports Media wrote: Weird Times in the Sports Media (including Jacques Demers's anti-Semitism-that-wasn't). But some good can come from TwinkieGate, however. Like Vancouver Canucks fans getting in on the "Throw The ____!" fun on Twitter. Like Panger now having his own snappy broadcaster gimmick of comparing players to pastry ("Alex Burrows is like a Churro: Phallic in nature but surprisingly sweet!").
And like Gordon McIntyre giving Flyers beat writer Anthony San Fillippo a run for the most misplaced rage and ill-conceived column of the 2010 postseason.