Look, all awards shows are terrible. We only want to hear the winners, yet we’re stuck sitting through 2-3 hours of painful jokes, terrible skits and, in some cases, celebrity presenters so far down from the A-list that a quarter of the show we spend Yahooing their names.
The 2015 NHL Awards will be held Wednesday night in Las Vegas and the show has a long, long history of being groan-worthy. There have been some highlights — remember that great Bobby Ryan/Ryan Getzlaf skit? — but we usually walk away anticipating how next year’s show could top what we just watched.
The NHL Awards show being painful to watch isn’t anything new. The bad jokes have been thrown our way for three decades now, even back when Ron MacLean used to host when it was in Toronto. Take for example this opening dance number from 1995, which, via the great Chris Peters, was unearthed by Kings bloggers Spike Coffman and @TheMouthLAKings:
I don’t even know, man. Is that the only time in recorded history the King Clancy Award found its way into a lyric?
Scouring through YouTube, we found a number of treasures from past shows that just goes to show you this problem has been around a long time.
(Stick tap to Sal Barry of Puck Junk, who can be credited for uploading a number of these videos.)
Did you know that Enrico Palazzo Leslie Nielsen was Canadian? Here’s how the Naked Gun star helped MacLean open the ’94 show:
In a flashback to September, 1995, MacLean opens the show with his predictions for the 1995-96 season as the camera slowly reveals his location:
Later, Glenn Healy pulls the ol’ “Order 50 pizzas and 200 cans of pop and charge it to Darius Kasparaitis” gag:
Then there was Doug Gilmour’s PSA for Adults Who Can’t Skate:
How did they afford these writers?
If you're like Kenny Bania and enjoy a good soup, the '97 show was for you. Ever have the Nikolai Khabibouillabaisse? What about the Sergei Creme-a-Krasov? Personally, my favorite is the Turkey Lumme.
Now we move to the "Looking back, that's pretty awkward" part of this walk down memory lane. Here's Keith Primeau (and brother Wayne!), who had a hard time chatting up the ladies, discovering the wig helmet:
This is all sorts of awkward now, especially with Primeau involved.
A table hockey game featuring two goal-scoring goalies sounds like an all-time best seller:
Check out this hilarious skit for a Plus/Minus award given to John LeClair:
Oh, that was real.
The Hanson Brothers are so devious that during the 2011 show they fooled the “Pawn Stars” people with a fake Stanley Cup:
Ah, remember that championship season the FHH FHI FHHFJJ’s had?
Finally, let’s end with a good one: Will Arnett as Brendan Shanahan from the 2012 Awards:
Just remember all this when you're throwing something at your TV the second Rob Riggle appears. Hopefully Retta saves the day and wears her Brent Burns t-shirt.
- - - - - - -
MORE FROM YAHOO HOCKEY: