On Thursday afternoon, one of the most bizarre and disgusting hockey stories in recent memory began stinking up the web: Zung Nguyen, a 37-year-old defenseman in the New England Senior Hockey League, had been banned from the league for "defecating in opponent's glove following a fight on the ice."
That was actually written under his bio on the Rogue Squadron team page. That he pooped in another player's glove. The Onion would consider this scenario implausible — and yet it actually happened.
From Puck Daddy reader Steve F.:
"I play in that league and at my game last night one of the refs explained the story to me. Apparently there was a big fight and one of the guys gloves got thrown over the glass. When everyone involved was kicked out of the game, the guy who threw the glove, walked over and picked it up. He then proceeded to take a dump in it. Not sure if he gave the glove back to the rightful owner or if it was found after in the locker room."
Reader Bryan M. knew a number of the folks involved in the incident, and sent over this email that was circulated to teams after the incident (Dec. 2). The "Bermie" in the email is David Bermingham, who fought Nguyen 45 seconds into the game after being speared by him:
Crazy night at Hingham last night for young guns game. Bermie got in a fight with one of the Rogue Squadron guys (Zhong, for Ian and Greg) and walloped him pretty good — probably broke his nose.
The kid threw Bermie's glove out over the boards after the fight. So 15 minutes go by, Bermie changes and showers and then goes and gets his glove — the new one with the price tag still attached.
And it has a [poop] in it. A fresh, human [poop].
So Bermie tells the ref and they call the game, making the Rogues forfeit. One of our defenseman saw the kid go down to the corner where the glove was and squat down, but he figured he was just trying to calm down. Little did he know he was dropping a deuce. In Bermie's glove.
Bermingham had the lone goal in the game, which lasted 51 minutes. We asked Paul Laubenstein, president of the NESHL, for comment but have yet to connect with him.
You can't make this [poop] up, apparently. Meanwhile, beer leaguers around North America are giving their gear the sniff test …
UPDATE: Deadspin's done some great reporting on this, fleshing out some of the details of the entire poop glove affair. Give it a look.