Stanley Cup Beard Watch: The Ginger Beard Edition
(Ed. Note: We're proud to welcome back two of our favorite bloggers, Chuck and Pants from What's Up, Ya Sieve?, to the Puck Daddy fold as they author our weekly NHL Playoff Beard Watch every Thursday.)
By Chuck and Pants from What's Up, Ya Sieve?
Never in considering playoff beards or writing this informative and newsworthy weekly feature did we expect to find that so many people share our affinity for ginger beards. You’re all into hockey, that’s enough to make us friends. This common captivation with facial hair takes our relationship to the next level.
Since we’ve made ginger beards a thing, it’s time to give them their due. Last week, we mentioned Daniel Alfredsson and Brian Bickell’s impressive contributions. Here are the rest of The Best 2013 Ginger Beards, from rusty to rosy and everything in between.
Dougie Hamilton, Boston Bruins - GBR (Ginger Beard Rookie)
Sure, Dougie is a rookie, and he looks a bit like Beaker from “The Muppet Show,” but his ginger beard is not to be ignored. The 19-year-old Bruins defenseman comes to his first playoff run with the beginning of a epic, day-glo scruff. Somewhere on a golf course, Claude Giroux is wicked jealous.
We’re counting on Dougie to represent the Animal/Elmo beard that few true redheads last long enough in the playoffs to achieve. Should the Bruins make it to the Finals, this beard might require us to invest in new sunglasses. We wouldn’t want to burn out our corneas.
P.S. Imagine if he had the beard PLUS this haircut? Just a suggestion, DH. There’s a BeardWatch Award for this.
Martin Havlat, San Jose Sharks - AYB (All-Year Beard)
Who says that the Irish do ginger best? This Czech winger is not only an originator of the MGB (Mysteriously Ginger Beard), but his copper-colored facial accoutrement has a brogue so thick we have absolutely no idea what it’s saying. This beard has a pint of Guinness and a full Irish Breakfast, complete with blood pudding, before hitting the ice.
This beard’s favorite band? U2.
This beard’s favorite actor? Liam Neeson. This beard has 11 brothers - Patty, Marky, Nicky, Andy, Danny, Joey, Timmy, Tommy, Matty, Scotty...and Brent.
Sure he wears this beard year-round, but Havlat’s been in and out of the lineup with a recurring injury, so we’ll give him a pass.
Dan Cleary, Detroit Red Wings - Red Storm Rising
Red and orange fall next to each other in the rainbow, and Dan Cleary is sporting every shade in between to demonstrate the true nature of ginger. A little bit orange, a little bit rock and roll, this beard has not backed down in the face of the #1 seed. It’s gunning for an upset in the Western Conference.
For once we can see when Pierre wants to stand so close - look at all the pretty colors.
James Neal, Pittsburgh Penguins - #Gingerbeard
Our favorite (and oft-cited) beard, we’ve been referring to Neal simply as #Gingerbeard since the playoffs started. We were hoping that saying it three times in the mirror could make it magically appear on the scoresheet (instead of in the penalty box). Last night, we got our wish. Neal had two goals - and zero penalties.
We also uncovered a conspiracy between Neal’s interviews on Root Sports (US) and CBC (Canada). Look at this beard:
WHAT?! It’s ginger either way, but Canada’s RGB - I mean the color model, but this could also stand for Ridiculously Ginger Beard - is cranked all the way up. American TV lighting dims the #Gingerbeard while Canada shines it so brightly you could stick a maple leaf on it and wave it with pride. Are our neighbors to the north intentionally making ginger beards appear even more ginger?
Canada, you’re doing it right.
Matt Greene, Los Angeles Kings - The Once and Future Beard
An honorable mention of sorts, Matt Greene returned to the Kings lineup in Game 4 after missing almost a month of play due to injury. He didn’t spend that hiatus cheating on his beard either. Last year, his red-blond beard was a glorious Game of Thrones tribute by the Final. If LA can bounce back against the Sharks, it shouldn’t take Matt too long to return to his ruddy form. Like an iron heating up, the farther the Kings go, the redder this beard gets.