Have you ever wondered who would think, "Boy, I'd so much rather be the guy who picks up the dead duck thrown from the stands during a hockey game?" The answer, we imagine, is the guy who has to pick up the rubber phallus thrown on the ice in celebration of a hat trick.
According to Gerard Yee on Twitter, somebody at the Montreal Canadiens' 7-3 home victory over the Winnipeg Jets (a) brought a dildo to the game and (b) was compelled to throw it on the ice after Lars Eller tallied his third of four goals on the night. Huh, usually you see those things when you have trouble scoring …
Fans were confused at first, mistaking something red, stiff, immobile and deep in the zone for Hal Gill.
Soon after, Brian Gionta was then seen frantically fleeing the ice, screaming something about a sandworm from "Dune" attacking him. (Yes, that was a height joke. Moving on…)
Whether or not it was a sex toy doesn't really matter. They never said "Play It Again, Sam" in "Casablanca" either. Lars Eller is now irreversibly linked to a red pleasure pole landing on the ice during his 5-point night, as he no doubt found out when the hats and other items collected from his trick were presented to him after the game.
It's nothing to be ashamed of; well, until the Photoshops start rolling in.
An impressive moment from the Canadiens fan base. But you have ways to go to catch the Great Swedish Dildo Shower of '08, friends.
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