San Jose Sharks Christmas party just put your team’s holiday video to shame

Solid attempt, Washington Capitals holiday band. Nice try, Nashville Predators holiday card, with Seth Jones’ ridiculous guitar. Good job good effort, St. Louis Blues carolers.

Alas, none of you win the 2013 NHL wacky holiday team video competition. Barring the Los Angeles Kings getting Jerry Bruckheimer to produce theirs, the San Jose Sharks are your champions of Christmas puck clips. As much as “San Jose Sharks” and “champions” seem diametrically opposed.

Here is a six-plus-minute opus released by the Sharks on Monday, featuring their announcing crew, players and executives in scenes from the office Christmas party. It’s pretty hilarious; and then Brent Burns shows up with rubber snakes, and it becomes downright painfully hilarious:

That was rather epic. And the first NHL holiday video we’ve seen with a post-credits stinger.

Because the Sharks are awesome, they’ve split the video up into bite-sized player segments, with added footage:

Check out the comedy stylings of Dan Boyle and Pickles:

Antti Niemi’s mistletoe adventures:

Lil Joe, Couture and SJ Sharkie on party fouls:

Brent Burns and Patrick Marleau opening presents:

And of course, the kids’ table:

Obviously, this video needs 100 percent more Joe Thornton and Slappy the Dummy, but hey, you don’t always get what you ask for at Christmas time.

Unless of course you asked for Patrick Marleau and Brent Burns having a sword fight, in which case, Happy Holidays!