Holiday ornaments make lousy toys. Sure, we're all played "drop the fragile glass ornament from your roof to scare the bejesus out of the neighborhood cat" … er, haven't we? But for the most part, they hang in a tree and look pretty, like Robert Pattinson.
With her entry into Puck Daddy's NHL Holiday Ornaments contest, reader Sylvia Do attempted to remedy that disconnect between decoration and amusement:
My entry is a paper cutout doll of Jamie McGinn. I think the clothes speak for themselves, but paper McGinn will be modeling the items for sale on the Sharks/SVSE Holiday Shopping Network video. There is the princess suit (which his left arm will be ripping due to some....miscalculations), the famous fruitcake, and of course, Slappy.
The smiley face on the jockstrap may just put this one over the top.
Our NHL Holiday Ornament Contest is over, with the deadline passing on Thursday. Winners will be announced next week. You can check out Gallery One of your fellow readers' whimsy here.
And now, Gallery 2 spreads its unique brand of holiday cheer to the masses.
And here … we … go.
From Jonathan Cable:
For those who don't know the owner of the seized Porsche Cayenne that ended up on their Puck Daddy Christmas Tree, the verse and license plate might help to clear things up!
From reader Mike Haire: It's the NHL Realignment Menorah!
Raffi Torres has a lot of questions about realignment and the festive NHL Realignment Menorah. "What will the new conferences be called? Why do some menorahs have seven candles while others have eight? Which conference will the Coyotes be in next year? What's with that old Sabres logo? And why the heck is everyone getting so offended?"
One might say Raffi Torres has 99 problems but … oh, right, nevermind.
From reader Alvin Brant:
These are a few pictures of our updated tree for this year. We made all the ornaments ourselves, including the pucks, sticks, and octopi. Each player on the wings has a stick and an octopus.
I have included a close up of our Bertuzzi octo. We were sure not to put it near any glass ornaments as he would more than likely have broken them. We also put or bearded plush "Danny Cleary" octopus on top of the tree to finish things off.
It came upon the midnight Cleary …
Reader Maggie Reardon was hoping for "brownie points" by creating these Washington Capitals ornaments as a craft project. Alas, all we could think about after that was setting up some elaborate brownies-for-points scheme for next season's contest. (*stomach gurgles in delight*).
In celebration of Patrick Kane's shootout move against Minnesota Wild goalie Niklas Backstrom, reader Joey Cusano has prepared some stocking stuffers …
Kate Stine created that "Shanahammer" set in Gallery No. 1; here's her followup:
The story goes "they brought gold, frankincense and the Presidents Cup," right?
Keslurking the Nativity -- OK, I'm going to go to the confessional and
feel shame now.
As you should, blasphemer.
From reader Pantsalot:
Hey, I know this isn't an ornament, but technically it gets hung up on Christmas... so I figured I'd pass it on anyway.
Turns out that Santa, having been impressed with Mike Milbury's ability to let young children know when they aren't behaving nicely, has taken on the recently underemployed commentator, and will be placing him in the stockings of all the naughty little boys this Christmas season. Turns out Santa's an expert.
The perfect gift for the Thelma and Louise in your lives. Speaking of Milbury …
From reader Dominika Hanebach: "The Rick DiPieto Ornament. Due to expected occupational hazards, ornaments occasionally fall, crack and break. However, it's a mystery when the most expensive ornament is broken, while still hanging from the tree."
Speaking of terrible contracts …
Reader Clay Bates presents Christmas at the Gauthiers, featuring Scott Gomez. Feliz Navidad!
Finally … from our resident digital artist and purveyor of twisted humor, John Schultz a.k.a. Chicago Native Son: "Yule Log in a Glove" ornament. A gift from Patrice Bergeron to Alex Burrows.