Here are your Afternoon Puck Headlines: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.
• We don't know about you, but the fact that Versus will not be showing Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals in HD is a damned humiliation for hockey. [Kukla]
• Marty Turco might be a legit contender for the Conn Smythe and has been one of the best goalies in the postseason. And yet some expect he's going to be "teh suck," as the kids say, at the Joe. "Detroit has Marty Turco's number. Marty might just suffer heat stroke as the Wings light the lamp." [Fat Guy's Corner]
• You know, it's comments like the one above that really get Turco angry; even on NHL conference calls, when someone wants to talk about his 0-7-2 record in Detroit. "You know, there's not anything that has (been) done in the past, positive or negative, that really affects you going into the playoffs that eventually really matters at the end of time." [Freep]
• Why hyping Sidney Crosby will not make hockey more popular. And before you get bent out of shape about his, know that the author makes some very rationale arguments about why marketing individual players isn't good for the NHL. It's a decent rate, by "Slate writing about hockey" standards. [Slate]
• The Stanley Cup visits the set of "House, M.D.," where it contracts a mysterious fatal disease only to be cured less than an hour later by a dour British doctor speaking with an American accent. [NHL.com]
• Pens fans will continue to be able to watch their heroes on a giant television screen outside of the arena. Alcohol is prohibited. Geez, wonder if a sports fan in Pittsburgh can noodle through how to sneak booze into a sporting event ... [Penguins]
• An artist plans to create a five-minute stop-motion animated recreation of Toronto Maple Leafs legend Darryl Sittler's record-breaking 10-point game from 1976, and to get Sittler to narrate it. Up next: An animated recreation of the 200-foot goal Vesa Toskala gave up against the Islanders this season (video), narrated by Patrick Stefan (video).
• The subtle differences between being a hockey fan and being a hockey player. [Hockey in the 'Hood]
• Finally, we loved watching Rob Ray pummel an opponent more than most things in life. Which is why it's difficult to see him become such a litigious pain-in-the-ass, having filed another million-dollar lawsuit against the NHLPA to collect money from the lockout. This is not the Rob Ray we know and love; this is the Rob Ray we know and love: