(Ed. Note: We're proud to welcome back two of our favorite bloggers, Chuck and Pants from What's Up, Ya Sieve?, to the Puck Daddy fold as they author our NHL Playoff Beard Watch, which tracks the best and worst follicle growth in the postseason.)
By Chuck and Pants from What's Up, Ya Sieve?
Here's a look at some of the Stanley Cup Playoffs' best beards, along the teams still alive in the postseason.
Scott Darling, Chicago Blackhawks
Sing it with us now - “Oh my Darling, oh my Darling, Oh my Darling, that a beard!”
This beard is the GingerBeard that puts all others to shame. It is a beautiful sunset - full of such vibrant and awe-inspiring color that want to pause and Instagram it. No filter needed.
Darling’s first round play was also pretty awe-inspiring and we’d like to think that this brilliant beard is going to light the Hawks’ ablaze for Round 2.
Clayton Stoner, Anaheim Mighty Ducks
Clayton Who? Yeah, we admit that we didn’t know who he was either - but we do now. This is a man who knows how to groom the perfect playoff trifecta. The perfectly maintained and balanced beard, along with the tousled hair and eyebrows, is the stuff that Beard Watch dreams (and Stanley Cup ones) are made of.
Marco Scandella, Minnesota Wild
We’ve been into beards since before they were hip - since before there were hipsters, even. But sometimes the trends collide to create something close to perfect. Scandella’s beard and haircut combo could ride a fixed speed bike to local co-op because you’re out of kale. It’s filling in nicely, even teetering on the brink of burly.
That hair requires maintenance though - can Scandella let only the beard go untamed (organic, sustainable)? And if he can, is the Wild’s game worthy of what this beard could become?
Jason Garrison, Tampa Bay
If a vote for the Bolts is a vote for Garrison’s beard, we are stuffing the ballot box. We didn’t even mind that off-day before Game 7, knowing one night of suffering without hockey was one more night for Garrison in his epic quest for Beard Watch glory. He has worn the promise of this ebony beauty all year and we gladly welcome it to become true.
Braden Holtby, Washington Capitals
We always pick Braden, but in our defense, he wants it so badly. Even this season, when it looks like he might be trying to keep it up north, Holtby’s beard barely slows as it leaves his face, rolling past the neckline like us at a suburban stop sign. It even leaves Karl Alzner’s burgeoning megabeard in the dust.
Winter isn’t over until the Holtbeard says so - and if you sweat just looking at it, maybe you’re not cut out for Round Two.
One we’re gonna miss: Jakub Kindl, Detroit Red Wings
Finally, a worthy successor to the perennial Zetterbeard.
Kindl started his beard in the regular season, hence its fullness beyond this round. We were willing to overlook that head start for the sake of one of the few golden beards left. It looked well-tended, like a topiary at an upscale but tasteful house. Alas, we must bid it adieu. The playoffs are a cruel place to raise a beard.
Read more from Chuck and Pants on What's Up, Ya Sieve?, one of our favorite hockey blogs of all-time ever.
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