Mystery of Perry, Getzlaf; Roberto Luongo chatter; Pierre McGuire on 2013 season (Puck Headlines)

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Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

In which the New York Islanders are left wondering why they’re a one-model team. [Getty]

• Craig Custance looks at the biggest storyline for 2013: Where Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf will play in 2014 and beyond. [E$PN]

• "They've been Anaheim Ducks from the start. I love those guys. They're winners, and I'm going to do everything in my power to sign them." [AP]

• Your New Jersey Devils captain: Bryce Salvador! [Fire & Ice]

• Thus ends the Tim Connolly Error with the Toronto Maple Leafs, as the fragile center is placed on waivers. [Toronto Sun]

• The Dallas Stars make their celebrity hirings official: “Mike Modano, who re-joins the club as Executive Advisor and Alternate Governor. Three-time Stanley Cup champion Mark Recchi has been hired to bolster the hockey operations department, while former Stars goaltender Marty Turco brings his unique talents to the club’s broadcasts.” So upset that Recchi is being given a job on the medical staff he so richly deserves. [Heika]

• The Chicago Blackhawks see your lockout bribe to the fans and raise you 1,000 jerseys and 250 pucks. [Blackhawks]

• As Bob McKenzie does, he has all the waiver wire action from today in the NHL, including Mike Santorelli and both Calgary backup goalies. [@TSNBobMcKenzie]

• Andreas Lilja is on waivers. In other news, the Philadelphia Flyers still have no idea how the CBA works. [BSH]

• Then again, our coverage of the Travis Zajac contract yesterday proves we don’t either. [McSorley’s Stick]

• Lighthouse Hockey has been doing some surreal parody pieces lately, and “The Rick DiPietro Injury History is a Hoax” is no different. [LH]

• Meanwhile, Bourne recasts DiPi has Jesus Christ with a wonky groin. [BHS]

• Roberto Luongo’s fake Gmail account is pretty damn funny. [The Whistle]

• The “Luongo Rule” won’t affect the Vancouver Canucks’ ability to trade Roberto Luongo, said the team that gave him that contract. [The Province]

• The Seth Jones/Nathan MacKinnon rivalry grows. [Buzzing The Net]

• No Ryan Strome for the New York Islanders makes us a little less excited about watching the New York Islanders. [Welland Tribune]

• Hey, remember how the Columbus Blue Jackets got three NHL players in return for Rick Nash. Make it two. [FS Ohio]

• Great news if you want more Don Cherry in your life. [Star]

• Cotsonika on the St. Louis Blues: “And it will help that they can roll four lines and lean on their structure. They have a Norris Trophy candidate leading their defense in Alex Pietrangelo, and they can rotate Brian Elliott and Jaroslav Halak in net. They had the equivalent of two No. 1 goalies last season, as Elliott and Halak shared the Jennings Trophy for the NHL's lowest goals-against average. If one falters, they always have the other one.” [Y! Sports]

• Not every Pittsburgh business is thriving because the Penguins are back: “I think it’s because we are a health food place and people would rather have their beer and wings on a game night then a salad,” Salad Café Owner Sarah Spencer said. [CBS Local]

• Finally … are you ready? Are you ready for PIERRE MCGUIRE FOR DAT AZZ?

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