When we last saw Justin Bieber, he was blowing chunks on stage in Glendale. How that's related to his being honored by the Phoenix Coyotes on Saturday is a matter of contemplation.
Yes, Phoenix gave Justin Bieber his own signature bubble hockey game, featuring the Coyotes taking on the Biebs' beloved Toronto Maple Leafs in game where neither team wanted to wear its road jerseys.
(No word if it plays some inane Bieber bubblegum pop instead of a static-filled version of the national anthem after you put your quarters in.)
So this is cool. You know what's cooler? Playing bubble hockey on a Segway, yo.
Here's J-Bieber rolling into the Coyotes' locker room on his Segway, a personal vehicle that was supposed to change the way that cities were constructed but is instead reserved for mall cops, tour groups and teen pop sensations.
It's also the way JB gets away from his screaming fans, as he did in Glendale over the weekend. Although two years ago, it didn't work out so well:
Anyhoo, it was Game On for Biebs:
Here is Justin Bieber playing Phoenix Coyotes president and COO Mike Nealy in bubble hockey, in which Bieber inexplicably chooses the Leafs over the Western Conference finalists. Nice sunglasses, bro. Undoubtedly, Bieber is able to concentrate on this game, comfortable that one of his favorite things in resting safely on his chin.
Bieber and Nealy in an intense 4-4 game. Keep that up and we're likely to see a shootout, which is an artificial pre-packaged event geared toward young fans and commercial highlights.
How do the Coyotes have money for this? Wait, check that: It's the NHL's money. Sorry players, greater percentage of hockey-related revenue coming up in the next CBA.
Here's Justin Bieber, No. 6 in your programs, No. 1 in our hearts.
What, no matching sweater for Selena?
Sorry, Jets 1.0; advantage, Jets 2.0.