Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installment.
Reader John Honeyman was simply doing his duty as a hockey fan back in April, which was mercilessly mocking a young New York Rangers fan for wearing a Marian Gaborik jersey weeks after he was traded to the Columbus Blue Jackets.
Oh, but like so many other prospectors searching for gold, he didn’t realize he had hit the Jersey Fouls Motherlode.
He admitted to buying it 2 weeks ago, and then turned around and showed us that New York was egregiously misspelled as well.
You know, for as much grief as we want to give to this Empire State of Foul, we can’t help but wonder if there might be some balance between egregious befouling of a sweater and fiscal considerations.
Consider that the Gaborik jersey may have been on the bargain rack to begin with. Then consider the misspelling, slashing the price even further.
It’s entirely possible that this young man was given money to take this jersey off a retailer’s hands …
Unless this is some hipster "I'm a New YOKR" nonsense.
(Coming Up: Malkin Sucks, Calgary's Junk, some Blackhawks fouls, a Killer jersey goof and a Cup you can't touch.)
And here … we … go.
Keeping with our misspellings theme, or potential ones, reader Greg Weiss has an open mind:
Is this the perfect way to express your love for both the Blackhawks and Makita Power Tools? Perhaps he ran out of letters to show his fanship for Finnish hockey great Jarmo Makitalo? Funny he used Stan Mikita's 21 though.
We’ll go ahead and assume that this is a reference to the power tools using a sound-alike player name. Which is sorta clever but still totally a foul and a complete disrespect to the former Lady Byng winner and cinematic donuts magnate.
Reader Humberto Yanez has a tale to tell about this Toronto Maple Leafs jersey:
I normally love taking to Craigslist and ebay searching for hockey jerseys since locally some people have old gems that they just don’t realize.
I saw this jersey at the last game years ago the Leafs visited Phoenix and couldn’t take a picture. Now recently I have found this jersey on Craigslist. Although he admits that its misspelled, he obviously never fixed it.
The best part is when I saw him at that game I yelled at him about it and he seemed surprised that it was misspelled back then. I’m glad this finally surfaced though.
That reminds us: Was it “Gilmour Girls” in Canada?
From reader Timothy Pontzer:
Big fan of your blog, especially the jersey fouls. While I was working at the Pistons/Raptors game, I saw this Wings jersey courtside.
I honestly don't know what the reference of 'Max Power' is. I'm pretty sure that Valterri Filppula wears #51, so maybe this has something to do with him, but I could not figure it out.
Well, we always assume any Max Power reference is a reference to this:
But no, we have no idea how or why that would be a reference to Valterri Filppula. Unless it’s about his passing resemblance to a skinny Uter.
Ryan Batty offers a nasty little Foul from the WHL:
Here is a great foul for an Edmonton Oil Kings vs Calgary Hitmen game at Rexall. This guy was sitting beside someone wearing a "Calgary Blows" jersey (another obvious foul), but this one caught my attention because I couldn't figure out if the apostrophe was a contraction or possessive.
Ryan, it’s possessive.
And using our years of graduate-level scholarship on the matter of Jersey Fouls, we can deduce that the junk is a vagina.
Normally, the asinine hubris on display on the left (via Nick Primavera) wouldn’t make the cut – the Devils went on to win three Cups and five conference titles after 1994.
But the trolling jersey on the right is actually sort of great, in that it correctly applies the right double-letters to “Marty” in order to mimic the chant mocking Brodeur.
Kudos, sir. But still a Foul.
Reader Justin Collins checks in from the East Coast Epicenter of Jersey Fouls:
I wouldn't consider these jerseys to be fouls, but some Pens fans might. I wasn't super close to them so the picture isn't the greatest, but one is #87 "CROSBY SUCKS" and the other is #71 "MALKIN SUCKS". Love it.
You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting an anti-Sidney Crosby jersey at Washington Capitals games, but we have to admit: This might be our first “Malkin Sucks” J-Foul.
Seriously, who hates Malkin enough to do this? Doesn’t Sid suck all the "sucks" out of the room?
This is like seeing someone with a “DIE PIPPEN DIE” poster when the Chicago Bulls came to town in the 1990s ...
Reader Jimmy A. is not a fan of this Jersey Foul one bit oh no ma’am:
Saw this at Blues vs. Kings Game 2. As a longtime Blues fan, I find this to be highly offensive.
I wish I could have gotten this gal's significant other in the frame, because we're dealing with matching jersey fouls here. Obviously would have been better if I got both of them, but I mean what a great photo, right?
Doesn’t she know that, until the Blues win the championship, no one should touch her for fear of a jinx?
And finally …
Thanks to the many readers who sent in this image of a Chicago Blackhawks fan rocking the “17 Seconds” jersey, in reference to that period of time in Game 6 that Boston fans are trying to erase from their memories “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” style as we speak.