Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in future installment.
Darren Pang is one of the NHL’s most beloved commentators. And what better way to honor a hockey icon than with a Canadian tuxedo, right?
From reader Zac Miller:
Saw this Canadian Tuxedo walking up the stairs at a Hawks game vs. the Preds last season, first game of the notorious 9 game losing streak. As if the outfit wasn't bad enough, then I saw her turn around and was treated to the magic that was Darren Pang. I spent the first 2 periods of the game waiting for her to turn around again and hope that my phone wouldn't die. Since the Hawks were getting smoked, I didn't miss much.
A little about the jacket/pic: It was hand drawn and colored in with sharpie marker. Not terrible artwork, but I think it still fits into the Foul category, if for the sheer hilarity alone.
We’re actually going to go with “Not A Foul”, simply because we believe the addition of Darren Pang’s visage to any garment will improve said garment. That goes for denim jackets, winter hats and Vera Wang gowns.
Coming up: More Fouls from around the League, from Brooklyn to the California beaches …
And here … we … go.
Someone isn’t down with the New York Islanders leaving the Nassau Coliseum, apparently. This jersey will look really sharp amidst the hipster black and silver jerseys the Islanders will undoubtedly adopt in Brooklyn no matter what their owner is saying won’t change. (Via CJ Matthews)
Reader Matt MacComb provides us with a Frankenjersey tribute:
“I snapped this at Andy Moog night down at Rexall Place - I gotta think this guy must be related to him.”
While it’s true that Andy Moog wouldn’t be the first name to come to mind for a Tribute Jersey, it does strike us as more relevant than say a Daniel Berthiaume Frankenjersey. Or a Daniel Berthiaume jersey. Or Daniel Berthiaume.
Via reader Jason M. Ioli:
I guess someone still isn't happy about Parise leaving. And even worse is I believe Bobby Butler is now wearing that number.
Well, in fairness, “Vacant” had better numbers than Bobby Butler this season.
This is a Foul we’ve received from several fan bases, and hence it’s not all that unique. But we’re simply fascinated by two things whenever we got a photo like this:
1. The continued dedication of the Puck Daddy reader to snap cell phone images in the men’s room at a crowded arena, without an ounce of fear for their personal safety.
2. Do you think he picked out the urinal under the Rihanna poster, or it just came up in the usual urinal roulette that occurs between periods?
What a weird Foul from Kent Koons. This wasn’t the number Brad Richards wore in Dallas. He’s also wearing the jersey long after Richards abandoned the Stars. Foul-tastic.
Ugh. Via Greg Strange:
Saw this one heading into Game 3 of the Kings/Blues series lat postseason. Didn't get a chance to find out what the hell it meant.
From Wikipedia: “An overhead (OHV) engine, also informally called pushrod engine or I-head engine, is a type of piston engine that places the camshaft within the cylinder block (usually beside and slightly above the crankshaft in a straight engine or directly above the crankshaft in the V of a V engine), and uses pushrods or rods to actuate rocker arms above the cylinder head to actuate the valves.”
Or it’s about his penis. One of the two.
From our good pal Chemmy from Pension Plan Puppets … we'll just all assume this San Jose Sharks fan is wife No. 4, yes?
Mark in Buffalo with a baffler:
“We don't get to see that many jersey fouls in Buffalo since the Pens and Caps fans seem to have the monopoly on them, but when me and my buddies were at the second day of the NHL Draft in Pittsburgh, we saw this kid in a Pens jersey with the name "SEXY OMLET" on it. Who allows their 8 year old kid to wear that on the back? Western Pennsylvanians, that's who.”
Who knew Philippe Boucher’s nickname was “SEXY OMLET?”
NO NO NO NO NO.
From William Doherty:
We all know that the kings of actual game jersey fouls are my beloved New York Islanders with their wretched history of third jerseys and the fish sticks. Now I was (shamelessly) searching a bootleg jersey site cause what the hell why give these owners my money during this asinine lock out and also well, because I’m a cheap SOB.. Anyways I came along this damn catastrophe.. WHAT THE HELL? If anyone buys these there may be a second Long Island serial killer on the loose (too soon?).
Brutal. Just … brutal.
And finally …
Mike Czubakowski writes in:
“Long time reader and huge fan of the podcast. Saw this beauty while walking through the streets of NYC yesterday.
“Why he heff to spell humangous wrong?”
He should be executed like a tiger poacher in China for this.