Jersey Fouls is our ongoing exploration of the rules and etiquette for proper hockey jersey creation and exhibition. If you spot what you think may be a foul in your arena, email a photo to us at email@example.com for inclusion in future installment.
To paraphrase “The Matrix”: No one can be told about the Patrick Kane/Tuukka Rask/Chicago Blackhawks/Boston Bruins FrankenJersey … you just have to see it for yourself.
Via Steph, this jersey was allegedly seen at the Boston Bruins’ home game against the Chicago Blackhawks on Thursday night. Forgetting for a moment how these two players – a forward and a goalie! – and teams have nothing in common outside of one fan’s apparent affinity for them, there’s that itty, bitty, little fact that the BLACKHAWKS TOTALLY TOOK AWAY THE BRUINS’ CUP JUST TWO YEARS AGO.
These logos should reject each other like a bad organ match.
That said, the way the Indian head sync up with the ‘B’ makes this look like an awesome coffee mug.
And here ... we ... go.
Reader Naheed offers this, uh, Phoul:
Long time reader of the blog and recent (6 months) convert to the podcast. Huge fan, keep it up.
My Flames were in Toronto this week and probably deserved better, but here is an awesome jersey we saw. Hope you like it as much as we did.
A perfectly acceptable Protest Jersey. Although perhaps a little tardy.
Via reader Dan B., a dual-purpose Protest Jersey from the Ottawa Senators:
Snapped this winner before Aflie's retirement game last night. This jersey actually works on two levels! Firstly, because the Sens suck right now, and you have to hate that if you're a fan. And secondly, well, because Dany Heatley will never, ever, ever...ever be forgiven. Cheers!
Somewhere, Zack Smith weeps quietly, wondering why they ever assigned him the most maligned number in franchise history …
Via Mike In Philly, this Foul is notable because he snapped it at Wells Fargo Center on Black Friday, and because it’s perhaps the greatest example of Flyers self-loathing outside of cheering mediocre goalies for making a pedestrian save after giving up three goals.
Mike also attached the following image, with the message “Dear Fellow Philadelphians”:
(Rachel McAdams, Celebrity Puckhead, for the record.)
Now, a little bit from Jeff Barak a.k.a. Third String Goalie.
"While at the NCHC Frozen Faceoff at Target Center I spotted these two good natured North Dakota fans, who have been told that they were hostile and abusive."
Turns out they were Hostile and Abusive.
"Too bad. They seemed like nice guys..."
Oh that's just too cute. Thanks for it.
Can’t believe we haven’t had this Calgary Flames Foul before, but a quick search of the archive reveals we haven’t.
Reader Chad B., via Cass on Twitter, brings us this bitter remembrance of the Martin Gelinas goal that wasn’t in the 2004 Stanley Cup Final.
Either that, or it’s a handy response to, “Hey, when was the last time your franchise was relevant before this fall?”
Via reader The Archbishop comes a four-sport FrankenJersey:
As a Bostonian and a sports fan, I am fully aware of how the rest of the country's views us. The rest of you are probably sick of our teams, our success, our fans who don't miss an opportunity to remind you of how our teams have generally been better than your teams at sports, and the flood of Boston garbed people who descend upon your town when one of our teams is visiting your city to play your team. I'd like to think that if your city had 8 parades in 11 years with at least one title in all four major sports, you'd be pretty obnoxious about it too.
However, since I am sensitive to the plight of the non-Boston sports fan, I would like to apologize in advance for this mother of all Frankenjersey fouls that I spied at the final Bruins home game of the season.
While you have to admire the craftmanship of this Voltron-esque amalgamation of a Bruins, Red Sox, Patriots and Celtics jersey into one, it offends everyone on so, so many levels. If you see this person in your town at a game between The B's/Sox/Pats/Celts, dripping in beer, referring to 2001, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2011, 2013 with a too-thick Boston accent, please know, he does not really represent the fine people of Boston and its fans. Well, most of us, anyway.
And finally …
This is an interesting one. Via Andy K, it’s a homemade Jaromir Jagr sweater, with each letter and number representing a different team he played for. (Say, can you pick out Dallas?)
Some have called it a worthy labor of love. Others have called it a hockey equivalent of a ransom note. Which is pretty wonderful, considering Jagr’s career of going to the highest bidder.