If it wasn't apparent by the fact that the majority of stories coming out of Toronto these days are about the latest angry chants the ACC crowd has come up with, the bottom has fallen out on the Toronto Maple Leafs' season. They're bad.
But why? How did this happen? Whose fault is it? Lance Brown wants answers, dammit, and he's gonna get them. Check out the most epic piece of investigative journalism you'll see today:
I know this isn't intended to be comedy, but I find it downright hilarious. The pointed questions, which never really rise above Why aren't you better? and Why does losing keep happening?, the deflated bemusement of everyone under siege by Brown's quest for The Truth, the fact that the other microphones in the scrum seem kind of embarrassed by the CTV microphone... it's all gold. Here are a few highlights:
• "There's nothing funny about what happened this year." *looks around* "Nothing."
• "It's become fashion to lose; it's become sickening to watch."
• After a recorded message announcing the Leafs' practice time over shots of an empty rink: "It shouldn't surprise anyone that they didn't show up at the announced time this morning... they haven't shown up for the better part of the last 24 games."
• To Dion Phaneuf, moments after a lead-in pointedly denigrating his captaincy: "Have you provided the kind of leadership the captain of this franchise needs at a time like this?" And Phaneuf, realizing his answer is pretty much inconsequential: "What do you think?"
• To Randy Carlyle: "Did you know it would be this bad when you took the job?"
• To Phil Kessel: "Do you have an explanation for your own troubles lately?" Followed by a cut-away to the next guy Brown was hoping to shame before Kessel could even answer.
And so on. Seriously, at times this report felt like something that should have ended up on a late-night show. I kept waiting for Brown to follow up a question with for me to poop on! or some such other catchphrase, or one of the Leafs' answers to be cut up like Homer Simpson on Rock Bottom.
Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney