FOXBOROUGH, Mass. -- The Pro Shop at Gillette Stadium is 13,000-square feet of New England Patriots worship. The National Hockey League took over a good chunk of it for its Winter Classic swag shop, which is once again a blessing of sweet gear, weird stuff and at least one ghastly hat.
And this time, you could walk out of there with a Patrice Bergeron jersey, a Bruins jacket and a Patriots ski cap if you want to be the most Bostonian Boston that evahhhh Bostoned.
Let’s explore it, shall we?
The NHL ran into a bit of bad luck as no less than three of the seven pre-made jerseys on sale at the Winter Classic feature players that aren't in the game: Carey Price (injured), David Pastrnak (at world juniors) and Brad Marchand (suspended).
Dan Near of the NHL said that probably shouldn't affect jersey sales. "People want to buy their favorite players, even if they're not playing," he said.
The players available: Price, Alex Galchenyuk, Brendan Gallagher, P.K. Subban, Pastrnak, Patrice Bergeron and Marchand.
They cost $240. American!
Also available: NHL alumni T-shirseys, as Boston Bruins fans can proudly wear Cam Neely ...
... and Habs fans can wear Stephane Richer! (At the far right.)
Part of the appeal of being on site for the Winter Classic is getting exclusive "I WAS THERE!" shirts that aren't otherwise available.
Like this thing, which is perfect if you like spending $35 on something you'll only wear when everything else is the hamper.
It's really hard to screw up mittens, and the Winter Classic rarely does.
We want to wear these Canadiens ones while cradling a warm cup of cocoa.
At first glance we thought this was a game puck, but it's actually game puck coasters!
Pretty cool, and only $20. And you'll have four to give as gifts to your family. One each.
The NHL has really upped its game with women's Winter Classic gear over the years, and frankly I'm rather jealous that everything in this collection is both nice looking and soft to the touch. Unlike much of the men's gear, which is uninspired and bulky.
Those hoodies run you $50.
Case in point: This sweater feels like baby kittens rolling around in yarn.
Costs $100. Worth every dime.
This has nothing to do with hockey, except for the fact that I thank the gods each day that FOX lost the rights and we no longer have stupid robots that have stupid EXTREME robot keychains that I assume one uses to open cans of Monster energy drink.
Glorious wonderful hats that run you about $30 a pop.
The Habs win the hat battle. The beanies are cooler and those white hats are really, really sweet.
However, when it comes to hats, we regret to inform you that the winner of this year's Worst Piece of Winter Classic gear comes from the land of hats.
And it's just ... yuck.
Dear god. It looks like someone ironed a Bruins logo on a what Target thought was hip-hop gear in 1997. I believe the font is called "Times New Trying Too Hard."
We picture a young Bart Simpson writing on a chalkboard, "I WILL NOT BUY THIS HAT I WILL NOT BUY THIS HAT."
It's the worst.
So we were rather sad after encountering this hat. We were walking out of the store, past the fake Legos when suddenly ...
Wait ... was is that?
To the right?
Is that ... it can't be ...
As of this writing, two members of the Puck Daddy staff have plunked down $15 for something about the size of a match. But it's Winter Classic Montreal Canadiens Youppi and this is the greatest Winter Classic swag in the history of the Winter Classic or swag.
Happy New Year!
Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.
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